You love your son! You want to see him do well and prosper. It is incredibly tough to watch your boy make the decisions he is and experiencing the consequences of his actions. If love was enough to get your boy to quit we would not be needed. What you CAN do to help:
1) Be a solid part of the treatment team. This means listing and learning. It means trusting us to do what is best for your boy. We have been doing this as a school for 18 years. I have been doing it myself for almost (October 9) it will be 33 years. We know the damage addiction does to families. We meet as a team each week and discuss each students progress. Teachers, therapists, office staff, and many front line staff attend each meeting. It is important to share any concerns. We MUST work together.
2) Go to Alanon. Alanon family groups are available in every state. Meetings are free (a basket is passed if you chose to donate). One of the most useful results that come from attending is the realization that you can be content wether your son recovers or not. Attendance also can give you the chance to help others. This offers unexpected blessings!
3) Allow your son to complete treatment. We let families know up front to expect treatment to last for one year. This is of course discouraging! “It takes what it takes”. I wish there was a way to expedite recovery. Some times it takes longer, sometimes shorter but it is important to go the distance. In AA there is a saying that explains this well “we did not get sick overnight and we will not get well overnight”. I know it took me years of use to want to quit. I still work on my recovery daily.
4) Learn all you can about addiction and treatment. Read the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous). I think it still is the BEST source of information regarding this problem. It was written in 1939 and it is still very relevant. Going to Alanon and open AA meetings will help your family. There are many good books available. I wrote a book called “Addiction and Denial”. It is available on line (no charge) or we can send you a hard copy upon request.